2012

Now that the holidays are over, Raquel and I can seriously start working on our book. In my mind, I already have the first chapter written. I feel I need to rationalize why I moved school districts. One one hand, the district that we were in was falling apart...I had to move. My apartment building sucked. I was so tired of smelling weed every day in the hallways, I wanted a better city to live in... But boy, did it come at a cost. In a lot of ways I still feel guilty. Because I wanted a better life for my girls, we are now in the middle of a unimaginable nightmare. Stephanie is excelling in the new school district, she is doing so well.. Raquel is still struggling. I know that the actions of others shouldnt make me feel guilty, but if we stayed in the district we were in my kids were going to fall behind..... I am in the same district as last year, but different city... I love the city that we are in right now. I hope to buy a house here. Raquel is at a different middle school. Stephanie is at a great elementary school. Why couldnt we end up here first.. Maybe then none of this would have happened. This is what I am wrestling with. Guilt. I realize that this isnt my fault, but I still feel that if something would be different my little girl would not be suffering. She wouldnt be angry, hurting and dealing with so much. It is not fair. This adventure is going to be a hard one I am sure. There will be a lot of tears as we relive a horrible memory. But in a way, I think that it will help us heal.


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Happy 2012- The year of the dragon, and the year Raquel and I heal.